Forever
by Corinne 22
Summary: Entry for BeyondThePale. Image 19. If I had a heart, it surely would have stopped from the anger and pain. If I could shed tears, I would have cried a river for your return. What is there to live for, if I don't have you?


**Beyond the Pale Contest**

**Title: Forever**

**Pen Name: Corinne 22**

**Characters: Bella and Edward**

**Disclaimer: I don't, nor will I ever, own Twilight. Just the many thoughts per day about stories pertaining to it. :)**

**Image that Inspired You: 19**

**To see other entries in the Beyond the Pale Contest, please visit the C2 page:**

**.net/community/Beyond_the_Pale_Contest_Entries/83159/**

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I waited for him.

I have fucking waited for him.

I have waited for him for what has seemed like forever and I was prepared to wait many more. Wait until time stood still or the earth collapsed. Which ever one came first.

I vainly searched the forest ground, through the trees, and I tried despertly with my expert ears to hear any of his footsteps, but found none.

I used to pass the time, count down the minutes and seconds with his heartbeat. A never ending pendulum to my soul. The nights and days passed on, signaling the days changing. Yet I kept time by his breath, his heartbeat that pounded so loud in my ears, yet was never a sound of inconvenence. Without him, the days sometimes blurred in together. I only knew of round-about time by my family urging me to leave, telling me of how long it had been since his departure.

_It has been five months now._

He hasn't returned yet and I couldn't understand why. We loved each other. A love that could rival any fairytale told to little children a night, a love to rival anything I have seen or been through in the past two hundred and fifty years of my second life. He said he would come back to me, I knew he wouldn't lie. Part of me ached to follow him, to find his scent and follow it through states, find him and never let go again. But I just knew that it would be my luck that the moment I would leave he would return, making him think that I no longer wanted him or changed my mind.

~0~

The birds were chirping in the brisk sunrise, an almost melencholy tone written into their song. Like they were mourning for the uncoming loss of each other. He had obligations that needed to be done before our lives could continue to the paths we wanted. Things in other states he has to square away and conclude before he could disappear.

He sighed, wrapping his fingers around my stomach and holding on as tight as he could as he buried his face in my hair.

"I don't want to leave you."

I moved around on my other side to face him, stroking his hair and playing with the frayed ends.

"I don't want you to either, but it's what needs to be done."

He frowned in reply.

"I know," I attempted to giggle to lighten up the mood. "But just think, when you come back, you can be changed and then we will have forever. We won't ever have to part again. We will have until the earth destroys us all. What is a week gone compared to eternity together? A small blip in the schedule."

I was attempting to make it seem like it was nothing when inside it literally killed me at just the thought of not having him.

"That doesn't mean it won't still hurt like hell to be apart from you," he answered, mirroring my own thoughts.

I decided that if words wouldn't help, maybe actions would.

I lightly trailed my fingertips down his bare torso, loving the vision of my cold touch causing goosebumps to pop up along his skin. I would miss that.

I leaned over, peppering kisses along his side, feeling his muscles tighten up from being tickled. He let out a low laugh which quickly turned into soft moans as I stealthly uncovered him from the confines of his clothes and slowly entered him into my mouth. I worked as fast as I could, every emotion and feelings of love pouring into my movements. He didn't last long, he never really did when it came to me.

I looked at him, hidden behind my eyelashes, as I licked him one more time.

"Also, think about this...we could do so much more than that."

I had never fully given into him, as much as the burning need and want was there. I was too afraid I would hurt him. But after he changed, things would become much different. I planned on ruining many pieces of furniture as soon as we could.

He sighed as I crawled my back up to him, purposely trying to remember this exact moment. His post-orgasm glow in the early morning light through my own love sick eyes.

We almost never parted, I pratically had to push him out the door.

"I'll miss you," he pouted, looking briefly like a child, and I had to fight myself from pulling him back to bed with me.

"Ditto," I replied quietly, trying not to look into his tear stained eyes.

"Five days, I'm going to make it five days and not seven." His childlike demeanor morphed into determination.

"You have to make it safely back to me," I cautioned as I shook my head.

"It pains me enough to see your face like this. I don't want to be the cause of it. If I make it back sooner, I could make you happy again."

"Fine," I sulked, knowing once he had his mind set nothing could persuade him otherwise. His persitant needing of me to change him should have taught me that. "I'll see you soon."

"Yes, in five days, my love," he grinned.

"Love you."

"Love you more."

And with one passionate, searing kiss he was gone. The sound of his tires over gravel becoming farther and mixing in with the distant sounds of traffic a few streets down.

~0~

_It's now been seven months._

Carlisle and Esme stopped by today. They kept trying to convince me that he was dead. They keep trying to fabricate a story of him having an accident on the way back.

"Probably trying to rush back to you," Esme would keep muttering under her breath.

But I would never believe them. I knew that they just wanted me to move, to feed, to get over whatever it was I was going through and end my forever vigilance at the window. Besides, I knew his love withstood even death itself.

They brought me by an elk today from the woods and I nearly wanted to vomit at the smell. It didn't matter that I was growing weaker and weaker by the week. It didn't matter that venom could pool in my mouth, by habit, at the thought of quenching my deep seeded thirst. I just couldn't do it. If he wasn't near me, I felt no reason to do any sort of daily rituals, let alone do anything that could sustain me or make me better. What was the point when I was without him?

_I have lost count of the number of months. Nine-ten?_

It didn't matter anymore what the time was or what day it was.

My whole body ached. I would writhe around on the floor, crying out for him, wishing I could shed human tears and cry for the unknown reasons of why he wasn't with me.

I envisioned so much more by this time. I envisioned us never parted, me teaching him how to hunt, no longer having to be gentle with his human form. Why hasn't he returned?

_I, officially, no longer knew the concept of what time was. I was too far gone._

The days pass and I'm in and out so much that I rarely become aware of them. Sometimes I hear voices of my family, coming to check up on me and tell me over and over again of how he died, I was sure. But I didn't want to hear it. Time has stopped and dragged on all at the same time.

At one point I felt them try to force-feed me, the rage I would normally feel upon feeding directed onto them, instead. Powers I didn't know I contained anymore lashed their way through, trying their best to harm the ones I loved or, at least, to punish them for going against my wishes.

But it all drained me completely, afterwards. The next time I came to, the only sounds I could hear was like another world, full of life outside. But no familiar heartbeat to be found.

_Days passed. Maybe even more months passed._

I awoke today, feeling nothing but hope, and then quickly feeling that hope be shattered completely as the house stood still. No longer an abundance with his energy and love. No longer feeling alive. He made me almost feel alive, once.

I found I was laying on my back and noticed the ceiling where a smudge of a stain remained. I instantly remembered the time it got there, smiling briefly at the memory.

~0~

I was laying on my stomach on the bed, elbows propped up and chin rested in my hands as I stared out the window and daydreamed about the man who was currently in the kitchen making himself pancakes for breakfast. I had always been the responsible one, always vigilant and quick. One mortal brought me to my knees, making me a lovesick teenage girl after too many years of being alone and pushing people away.

"Babe," he called to me from the kitchen, followed by his quick footsteps down the hallway. "You have to see what I just did!"

He came skidding into the bedroom as I sat up in the bed, looking at him in question.

"You know how all of those cooking shows have those chefs flipping around food in the frying pan?"

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"I know, I know...you don't eat _normal_ food, but-"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I interrupted him with laughter. His little boy inside was shining through his eyes, becoming infectious.

"I can do it!" He practically screamed me, almost losing his grip on the pan he was holding.

I laughed openly at him. Maybe it was all of these almost innocent, child-like moments of his that made me love him so much.

"Then, by all means, show me, Master Chef," I exclaimed while resting my back against the headboard.

He braced himself, feet spread shoulder length apart, his arms spread out in an almost uncomfortable looking stance and the tip of his tongue peeking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. I had to try not to laugh at him, knowing that it would probably crush his feelings or make him lose focus.

He bent his knees twice, probably counting in his head, and on the third small bounce threw the almost now burnt pancake up in the air. He ended up throwing it too hard and the non-burnt side landed on the ceiling.

"Man," he almost stamped his feet on the ground, slightly pouting. "I swear, I did it last time."

"Aw, I believe you," I tried to soothe him while I got off of the bed.

"I swear I did," he whispered as I pulled my arms around his waist, trying not to laugh.

Just then, the pancake fell from the ceiling, landed on his head and then bounced off onto the floor. Which, in turn, caused us both to start laughing loudly.

"I don't think I'm hungry anymore," he panted out in between gasps of air.

~0~

I lulled my head to the side, looking at the window I stared out at so many times. Whether it was sundown or sunset, I no longer knew. Their was a ray of sunlight shining through. The sun would hit the floorboards, slowly casting it with more of it's light.

I must have slipped in and out of consiousness because every time I looked over, the sun had crept further along the floor, eventually reaching my toes. It slowly reached my left side, engulfing me with it's light and warmth. I smiled, realizing it felt much like he did. I closed my eyes and relished in the heat, imagining I could hear his breathing, his heartbeat, the way his blood would sound as it kept him alive.

I imagined him finally coming home, telling me of stories how he got lost, but he persevered, finding his way home. Back to me. I imagined him laying on my left side, holding me in a tight embrace as he whispered in my ear.

"I'm ready for forever."


End file.
